I'm sure you're wondering.. What the heck happened in Czech Republic?? Did you die?!?! Well not quite. It was incredibly emotional tho. So I'm gonna try to sum it up for you in one neat little post. Here goes:
After our final scan we saw that we had 19 follicles. We were absolutely thrilled. Besides being bloated and uncomfortable, I didn't have many side effects from the Gonal F. I was just relieved that we'd have a good number of eggs. The doctor had told us that we'd most likely get 4 or 5 which meant we'd have some to freeze. Perfect.
Well the day of the retrieval came and I was pretty scared. DH was incredibly supportive and just the sweetest. They brought me up to the recovery room filled with 4 empty beds that I'd have all to myself. It looked more like little motel room than a hospital which I liked.
The procedure itself was a little unnerving. I followed a nurse into the surgery room and hopped up on the bed. Then came the part where they pulled up my nightie shirt and I felt very exposed. Soon I was all covered with a sheet and the anesthesiologist came over to insert the needle. She didn't speak a lick of English, in fact, no one in the operating room did (except my doctor but he was preoccupied), which was the unnerving part. She put the needle in with no English warning and in less than 5 seconds I was out like a light.
I woke up pretty woozy and my cute husband recorded the hilarious things I said to him as I lay in the recovery room. At one point I told him, "I hope we got so many eggs. I tried so hard." He said it brought tears to his eyes to hear me say that. Of course, we all know that we have no control over how many eggs we produce. Our bodies have the final say.
And my body sure did - They got 9 eggs. Three were abnormal. Three were immature and out of the three that were left, only two fertilized. They emailed us this info the next morning. We were devastated.
Here we thought we'd have a few left over for an FET if needed. But now we weren't even sure if we'd have any to transfer. We spent the next 4 hours in tears, praying and pleading with God to let those two little embryos grow enough to meet us. We also made the decision to move the transfer from a 5 day to a 3 day.
Now let me tell you all something. My doctor didn't suggest moving it to a 3 day. I am the one who suggested it. I honestly can't say if our little embies would have made it to 5 days or not, but I know that there's a significant chance that they wouldn't have. If I hadn't have done my research and been confident in the facts that I knew, I wouldn't have asked to move the transfer date. But I am so incredibly glad that I did. So I'm saying that to tell you - You MUST MUST MUST be your own advocate. When it comes to infertility specifically, don't just assume your doctor or nurse or whoever is looking out for your very best interest, you have to look out for you. Do the leg work, research till your eyes fall out, ask around, read blogs, listen to other's stories and find out the facts. It is imperative!
Okay, off my soapbox. Back to the story.
I'll skip over the next two days as they were filled with anxiety and worry. We ended up having both embryos to transfer on day 3. Hallelujah! This was an answer to prayer if I've ever seen one. We had a perfect 8 cell with no fragmentation and a perfect (albeit a little slow) 5 cell with no fragmentation.
The transfer went perfectly - They didn't use an ultrasound but I felt literally nothing during the transfer (and that's a good thing). And they sent me off.
We spent the next few days taking it easy. Eating lots of protein, chips, bread, fruit, and other various Czech things. We took a train to Prague a few days later and walked around the city exploring a little. A few days later we flew back to the States and I was very glad to get home and sleep in my own bed, but as soon as I was, the anxiety set in. I knew it didn't work. There was no way. I cried and worried and cried some more. How could those two poor lonely embryos have implanted??? No way.
Well we decided to test the Wednesday before my beta just to get it over with. I had already started researching IVF clinics in our are as I knew we wouldn't travel again. I was preparing myself to move on. Maybe the negative result wouldn't sting as much if I already had a plan in mind.
I woke up at 4am that morning and we both went in the bathroom. Pulled out a cheapie test and did the dead. We left the bathroom and laid back down in bed. We prayed. For 10 minutes straight, we prayed for peace and strength and hope. We thanked God for the opportunity to hold those little embryos in my uterus for as long as I had. I thanked God that for a few brief moments in our lives we were parents - for however brief that was.
Then we walked back into the bathroom and knew it was time. DH uncovered the test and there it was...
The two lines that had evaded us for 35 cycles. We were pregnant!!! WE WERE PREGNANT!!! We held each other and cried and thanked God for the miracle of life He had given us.
So here we are. I had two beta's done - 144 @ 13dp3dpt and 967 @ 16dp3dt and the numbers looked good. We go in for our first ultrasound on 10/25. We feel good about it. Hopeful. But you can't be too confident with these things.. I'm just happy that I can finally say that I've been pregnant. Obviously we want to meet the(se) little one(s) in 9 months - I want nothing more - but now I know that my body is capable of carrying a child and that is life changing.
And now we wait. And pray. And hope. And pray. We pray that God will allow our baby(s) to grow and grow and be healthy. We pray that our appointments would be little slivers of joy. We pray that we can finally put the heartbreak of infertility behind us. But mostly we pray to thank God for His goodness and faithfulness to us.
So we pray.
