Let's talk about my thyroid... (try to contain your excitement ;) It was high - 3.62, to be exact. I had no idea it was that high. So, apparently there's different scales to measure your TSH level, and doctors will argue over what's high and what's not, but for the sake of getting pregnant, my clinic said they wanted it around 1.0. Well obviously 3.62 is not 1, so I had some work to do. They put me on levothyroxine for about a month now and it's been great.
Oh, so the title of the blog.. right. While it's not 74 degrees out at the moment (don't I wish it was), that's the temperature in our apartment. "Okay, so what?" you might say. Before taking this medication, I liked for the temperature to never go over 72. And even that was pushing it. I'd bring it down to 71 or even lower depending on the day. What this meant was that I couldn't tolerate heat. This is one of the classic signs of hypothyroidism.
Let's explore this a little - My basal body temperature (if you're a fellow TTCer, you know you've taken yours every morning for at least a few months), would generally hover around 97.5 in my follicular phase (pre-ovulation) and then 98.1 in my luteal phase (post ovulation). Now that's an average, but I've seen my BBT get as low as 96.7. Yikes. And sometimes it'd get higher than 98.1 but it was usually just for a day or two after I O'd.
I thought for sure this meant that I had a luteal phase defect. I clearly wasn't producing enough progesterone to sustain high temps and therefore I was losing a potential pregnancy each month. But no doctor ever bothered to check my thyroid. And low BBTs are a classic sign of hypothyroidism.
That was until Reprogenesis checked it. And I'm so glad they did because having a high TSH (anything about a 1.5 to 2) can cause miscarriage. Now my BBT has been 98.5 or higher when I wake up. This means that I'm not a giant pool of sweat whenever it creeps above 72 in our apartment. This makes me happy. And it also makes me feel reassured that these doctors just might know what they're doing. :)
So the moral of my story is, have your doctor check your thyroid! You could be hypo and not even realize it!
Showing posts with label never pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label never pregnant. Show all posts
Friday, September 6, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
34
34
That would be the number of cycles we've tried. I counted them today. I haven't done that in a while. I stopped when we were hitting 20 because I felt like I was punishing myself. But today, I was curious. So by the time we do IVF, it'll be 36 cycles. That's 3 years worth of trying, yet it's been just over 2 1/2.
AF came today. It's fine. No, it's good. It's a good thing. It means that I can start BCP in a few days. It means that I can get my blood drawn on Wednesday to test my hormone levels and send them off to my clinic. But ... it also means one more thing - I am not a mother. Still.
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you count up the times you've tried to get pregnant and realize that you should easily have two children by now. That stings.
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you drive to the grocery store and can't park in a space because it's reserved for "mothers with children."
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you turn on the news and you hear about the excitement of other women's impending births.
But not yours. Not mine. I am childless.
...*deep breath*
Still, I have hope. Not that I'll one day be a mother, but that God will take these deep, dark, voids filled with pain and tears and wasted days and fill them with a peace that only He can give.
In the midst of the tears I cry today, I feel overwhelmingly thankful. I have a God who watches over me. I could be a lost soul who would never know the goodness and grace of my Heavenly Father, but He chose me from the beginning of time and He works every piece of my life for good.
So I may be scared that this upcoming IVF will fail, but He is not. He knows the outcome. I know that should always be enough for me, but I must admit that my faith waivers. Sometimes I forget that when I say He works everything for our good - that it is also for His glory. So when he allowed Job's family to be killed, it was for His glory. When He allowed Joseph to be taken into slavery, it was for His glory. When allowed Hannah to feel the pain of a barren womb year after year, it was for His glory. But we take comfort in the troubles they faced because we know the beautiful end to their stories, just as God knows the end of ours.
I can't imagine how denying us a child would glorify my Saviour, but I can guarantee that it will. And just the fact that God has a plan for us is humbling. Some people's paths are smooth and easy, with seemingly small hills. Some are clear and obvious. But ours is filled with trees and rocks, blocking our path. The storms we face make it hard to see. It's discouraging. Yet in this struggle God is trying to teach us something.
So for now, that's good enough. The small, quiet moments that I know God is whispering to me. That I know He hasn't forgotten about me. I know He sees my tears today. I know He feels my heart break. And it's in these times that I feel Him the closest to me. For this, I am grateful and humbled and hopeful.
That would be the number of cycles we've tried. I counted them today. I haven't done that in a while. I stopped when we were hitting 20 because I felt like I was punishing myself. But today, I was curious. So by the time we do IVF, it'll be 36 cycles. That's 3 years worth of trying, yet it's been just over 2 1/2.
AF came today. It's fine. No, it's good. It's a good thing. It means that I can start BCP in a few days. It means that I can get my blood drawn on Wednesday to test my hormone levels and send them off to my clinic. But ... it also means one more thing - I am not a mother. Still.
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you count up the times you've tried to get pregnant and realize that you should easily have two children by now. That stings.
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you drive to the grocery store and can't park in a space because it's reserved for "mothers with children."
It's hard not to feel insignificant when you turn on the news and you hear about the excitement of other women's impending births.
But not yours. Not mine. I am childless.
...*deep breath*
Still, I have hope. Not that I'll one day be a mother, but that God will take these deep, dark, voids filled with pain and tears and wasted days and fill them with a peace that only He can give.
In the midst of the tears I cry today, I feel overwhelmingly thankful. I have a God who watches over me. I could be a lost soul who would never know the goodness and grace of my Heavenly Father, but He chose me from the beginning of time and He works every piece of my life for good.
So I may be scared that this upcoming IVF will fail, but He is not. He knows the outcome. I know that should always be enough for me, but I must admit that my faith waivers. Sometimes I forget that when I say He works everything for our good - that it is also for His glory. So when he allowed Job's family to be killed, it was for His glory. When He allowed Joseph to be taken into slavery, it was for His glory. When allowed Hannah to feel the pain of a barren womb year after year, it was for His glory. But we take comfort in the troubles they faced because we know the beautiful end to their stories, just as God knows the end of ours.
I can't imagine how denying us a child would glorify my Saviour, but I can guarantee that it will. And just the fact that God has a plan for us is humbling. Some people's paths are smooth and easy, with seemingly small hills. Some are clear and obvious. But ours is filled with trees and rocks, blocking our path. The storms we face make it hard to see. It's discouraging. Yet in this struggle God is trying to teach us something.
So for now, that's good enough. The small, quiet moments that I know God is whispering to me. That I know He hasn't forgotten about me. I know He sees my tears today. I know He feels my heart break. And it's in these times that I feel Him the closest to me. For this, I am grateful and humbled and hopeful.
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