Candles and sweatpants

So last night we had a quiet evening. You see, I got my period yesterday and I was just feeling..  sad. Then DH overheard a woman at work announcing to everyone who'll listen that she's pregnant. For the first time, I really understood how he's taking this. It affected him much more than I would have thought something like that would. I was so proud of him for telling me about it.

I haven't cried this cycle because we've started talking about doing treatments in the new year and we're actually serious about it this time. I'm mostly looking forward to the diagnosing part. I feel like I might have endo but there's no way to know that for sure. This cycle was only 25 days. My last cycle was 24. This is a new development for me. Usually my cycles are around 27 days. Not sure what this means but it makes me nervous. I have been drinking soy milk daily, but from the research I've found, it should make my cycle longer not shorter.  Anyway, that's what's been weighing on me lately.

We've narrowed the search down to two different fertility clinics. One's Premier Fertility Clinic in High Point and the other one is the Wake Forest Baptist whatever place.

Moving to the front of the line

Today is my first day of blogging post marriage. I've had a blog before but mostly about nonsensical things and random thoughts. This blog will be mostly about my struggle with infertility.

But now I'll get right into it. For the last few months I've been in school. It was my first officially official semester as a student. I was only part time, but it was (is) great. I'm really enjoying my ASL I class and being a student in general, as it's a glorious distraction from what our life has been for the last year and a half. "And how's that been?" you may ask? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret: we want a baby.

Although I've never been one of those girls to go all gooey over a tiny infant being stroller-ed down the street, I have imagined myself being a mother.. someday.. distantly. Then, out of the blue, I met my husband-to-be, we dated for a (very) few months and *bam* we were married.

We started TTC about 3 months after we signed the marriage certificate. I remember the first month being... startling.. DH was a little hesitant about getting pregnant so soon (he was only 24 at the time, but I was a ripe old age of 26 and getting older by the second) but we talked it over and decided to give it a go. When that first month turned out to be a negative, I was stunned. For a long time after that, I beat myself up over my initial naivety  but since learned to be kinder to my younger less-informed self.

Fast forward to November 2012 and 25 cycles later. I don't think I could have imagined that I'd have a hard time getting pregnant, but I guess if you had asked me at 24 if I'd ever be married, I wouldn't have dreamed  that I'd find my husband at 25. But here we are.

I'm hoping to write in this blog on a pretty regular basis. Just using this to spew out my thoughts and frustrations (oh and happy things too, naturally) and to document this journey. There's more to say about future plans but I'll leave that for another day and at a time when I'm less distracted (we just put on the first episode of the original Enterprise and I've never seen it lol Oh the exciting life we live). Till next time!