Today's a big day. Today I took my first birth control pill. I can't believe the irony of how exciting that is. What's more, you should ask me where I got my birth control.
Planned Parenthood.
Oh yes.
I ordered BCP, Prednisone, Folic Acid, and Synthroid from my clinic in Czech. They shipped it over a month ago and, as of yesterday, it hadn't arrived. It's lost somewhere in post office land. This has plagued me with anxiety over the last few weeks. I've stalked our mail man on several occasions. I've gone to our post office several times to see if they have it. Nothing.
Extreme measures had to be taken. Where is an easy place to get birth control? Yep. So I went. Needless to say, it wasn't enjoyable.
I arrived at 12:15 and filled out my paperwork. 30 minutes later I asked to use their restroom so they let me back and handed me a cup. "What's this for?" I asked. "A pregnancy test." "Oh, well I don't need it, I just got my period today." "It's procedure, we have to test you."
I'd be lying if I said that didn't sting a little. What stung worse was when they gave me the results. "You're not pregnant, don't worry."
Oh, wow. Okay. For the first time in 35 cycles of trying, someone else said that to me aloud. Yes, I'm well aware that I'm not pregnant, that's why I'm here at your trashy little establishment!
The nurse came in and we went over my information. I told her why I needed the BCP and she understood. After she left the room I overheard her talking with the doctor and another girl. "So she's here for BCP for her IVF cycle." "What's IVF?" (um, can you imagine asking this now?) "It's in vitro-fertilization (moron!)" "Well why does she need BC for IVF?" "To regulate her cycle."
I wanted to burst out of the room and tell that idiot asking all the questions to google once in a while!! I knew what IVF years ago, before I was married, before thinking of babies, before understanding infertility. Ugh, the ignorance!
But I didn't do that. I just sat in the room.. waiting.. humiliated.
I got my prescription and left as fast as I could. Cried in the car, naturally. We managed to convince an RE in the area to write me prescriptions for the rest of the medication I needed. I wish I had just asked him for the BC and saved myself another awful experience.
But here I am, my first day of BCP. I have my medication schedule for the next few weeks. I hope the end of this month goes by fast. I've been occupying myself with buying a few things for the trip. I need a new purse - the straps are falling apart, this is a great excuse. I'm also looking for leggings and some jeans shirts to wear once I start doing injections and become a human pincushion. I can't imagine feeling comfortable in jeans once that starts.
I'm trying to stay positive - I've started saying "when" we get pregnant instead of "if." I have no idea what effect this has, if any, but it can't hurt. I just wished I fully believed it. Maybe it'll be different once we're there. Once I'm pumped full of hormones and they start taking pictures of my ovaries. Maybe then I'll feel hopeful, positive, even confident.
So I wait. Just a little longer.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
So Technical - How We Chose Our Clinic
I said a little while ago that I'd start writing more technical posts about IVF and the process so far. I'm incredibly lazy so I haven't gotten around to it, but I'm biting the bullet and writing it today. Here goes..
First I'll tell you how I narrowed down our clinic of choice:
I searched through pages and pages of the Czech Mates posts on the Inspire forums. This is how I first came to hear about IVF abroad. I'd never realized that this was an option. Most of these women go to a clinic in Zlin, Czech Republic for Donor Egg IVF. This didn't apply to me, so I kept Zlin in mind but continued my search. I also noticed some women referencing Fertility Friends and their forums about IVF abroad as well. I read through all of the information I could get my hands on. On FF, I saw more women doing Own Egg IVF and starting snooping around to see which clinics they went to.
Finally, I made a spreadsheet of all potential IVF clinics in Czech. I sorted them by city, success rates, price, services provided, and anything extra that they might do. I narrowed it down to 4 clinics: Reprogenesis, Reprofit, Zlin's Center for Reproductive Medicine, and Gennett. I emailed all of them. (I actually emailed about 10 different clinics, but I'll focus on these 4).
Zlin's replies were fairly quick, but I had a difficult time communicating with coordinator. English was obviously not her first language and, as I like to ask about 1 billion questions, I thought that communication should be key. I also didn't love that Zlin was in the middle of nowhere (think rolling hillside country). If we wanted to do any day trips and get out of our hotel room, we'd have to hop on a bus, taxi, or train and drive about an hour.
Gennet's responses were good, but ended up being quite a bit more expensive than the others. See, all of the clinics asked for basic blood work - FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin, TSH, and sometimes AMH. But Gennett wanted me to have an EKG done and a bunch of other blood work (in preparation for the anesthesia) that would have undoubtedly cost an arm and a leg. Plus, I didn't want to look for a doctor to do all these tests and have to explain why I needed them. Even though they were in Prague and it would've been awesome to stay in that city, it would've been too expensive, so they were out.
Reprofit responded quickly and their replies were easy to understand. I sent them my information (past blood work, IUI results, HSG tests, sperm analysis, etc) and started down the path with them. But I didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from their coordinator, and the doctor I was emailing kept missing several questions I would ask. So I put them on the shelf for a bit.
Then there was Reprogenesis. From the get go, they were wonderful. Every single question I asked would be answered the next morning in complete detail. I sent them my information as well and we had a Skype consultation with their doctor. He was great and we had a very good feeling about them.
We narrowed it down to Reprogenesis and Reprofit - they were identically priced with ReproG being slightly more expensive. This was because ReproG used the Embryoscope which added about $800 extra. I did some research and came to the conclusion that the Embryoscope was mainly beneficial for women who had low quality eggs (generally over 35 or DOR) and that didn't apply to me.
So having shaved off that $800 from the cost, we realized that we really preferred ReproG after all. And that's how we chose our clinic. :)
First I'll tell you how I narrowed down our clinic of choice:
I searched through pages and pages of the Czech Mates posts on the Inspire forums. This is how I first came to hear about IVF abroad. I'd never realized that this was an option. Most of these women go to a clinic in Zlin, Czech Republic for Donor Egg IVF. This didn't apply to me, so I kept Zlin in mind but continued my search. I also noticed some women referencing Fertility Friends and their forums about IVF abroad as well. I read through all of the information I could get my hands on. On FF, I saw more women doing Own Egg IVF and starting snooping around to see which clinics they went to.
Finally, I made a spreadsheet of all potential IVF clinics in Czech. I sorted them by city, success rates, price, services provided, and anything extra that they might do. I narrowed it down to 4 clinics: Reprogenesis, Reprofit, Zlin's Center for Reproductive Medicine, and Gennett. I emailed all of them. (I actually emailed about 10 different clinics, but I'll focus on these 4).
Zlin's replies were fairly quick, but I had a difficult time communicating with coordinator. English was obviously not her first language and, as I like to ask about 1 billion questions, I thought that communication should be key. I also didn't love that Zlin was in the middle of nowhere (think rolling hillside country). If we wanted to do any day trips and get out of our hotel room, we'd have to hop on a bus, taxi, or train and drive about an hour.
Gennet's responses were good, but ended up being quite a bit more expensive than the others. See, all of the clinics asked for basic blood work - FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin, TSH, and sometimes AMH. But Gennett wanted me to have an EKG done and a bunch of other blood work (in preparation for the anesthesia) that would have undoubtedly cost an arm and a leg. Plus, I didn't want to look for a doctor to do all these tests and have to explain why I needed them. Even though they were in Prague and it would've been awesome to stay in that city, it would've been too expensive, so they were out.
Reprofit responded quickly and their replies were easy to understand. I sent them my information (past blood work, IUI results, HSG tests, sperm analysis, etc) and started down the path with them. But I didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from their coordinator, and the doctor I was emailing kept missing several questions I would ask. So I put them on the shelf for a bit.
Then there was Reprogenesis. From the get go, they were wonderful. Every single question I asked would be answered the next morning in complete detail. I sent them my information as well and we had a Skype consultation with their doctor. He was great and we had a very good feeling about them.
We narrowed it down to Reprogenesis and Reprofit - they were identically priced with ReproG being slightly more expensive. This was because ReproG used the Embryoscope which added about $800 extra. I did some research and came to the conclusion that the Embryoscope was mainly beneficial for women who had low quality eggs (generally over 35 or DOR) and that didn't apply to me.
So having shaved off that $800 from the cost, we realized that we really preferred ReproG after all. And that's how we chose our clinic. :)
I drank wine from the bottle last night.
I'm not proud of it, but it happened. And it wasn't as delicious as I'd hoped it be. Better luck next time, I guess.
Okay, I've been depressed. Not your typical "I had a bad day, it rained, I spilled coffee on my skirt, my dog chewed my favorite shoe" kind of depressed. No, more like, "It's noon and you actually want me to get out of bed?? What for?" Yeah, that kind.
But the depression.. Oh, the depression. I've been haunted by it. I have a little dark cloud over my head that follows me everywhere. Sometimes I forget that it's there and I can feel normal, but other times, it surrounds me.
I suppose it could have something to do with my Thyroid. I had my bloods stolen the other day and I sent the results to Reprogenesis. Apparently my TSH is super high. They want it to be around .5 to 1.5 for IVF. My TSH was 3.6. Yikes! According to the standard, anything about 2.5 is considered abnormal and potentially hypothyroid. I guess that explains why I have the stamina of an 80 year old lady.
Seriously, this is my very sad daily routine: I leave around 2:30 to go to the store. I head to Whole Foods and search for delicious things, then I drive over to Ulta and stare at the clearance aisle for about 30 minutes but buy nothing. I then head to the Christmas Tree Shop and walk around there for about 45 minutes. I buy whatever wonderfully cheap items they have there and then walk next door to Target where I proceed to purchase whatever items Christmas Tree Shop didn't have. Then I go to pick up my husband from work.
(Also, my day just sounded a lot more pathetic having written it out. Can you believe that this is what I do most days? How sad! What kind of person am I??? :( Ugh..)
As I walk out of Target to the car, I can't wait to collapse into the seat. I'm exhausted. I drive the 5 minutes to DH's workplace and wait in the parking lot to pick him up. But I don't even want to move at this point. We drive another 5 minutes home and I wish he could pick me up out of the car and walk me up the stairs to our apartment. I find my way to the couch and would love nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up 3 hours later.
This is not normal!!!! I am only 28!!!
But now I at least have an answer to why I tire so very, very easily. My TSH is out of control. Fortunately, they're sending me medication to bring it down. Apparently, a high TSH causes miscarriage. I'm glad they checked for it. Wake Forest never bothered to check. Surprise, surprise.
I hope that it'll help with my depression, or at least mask it by giving me super energy. I'll take any kind of help that I can get at this point.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)